It is an echoing backbone history which always click in the four corners of my brain when it comes to recall the struggles and the emotional crisis I went through while still in the stage of BASIC TRUST Vs BASIC MISTRUST (0 – 2years). The real history was hidden for the thousands of millennium years but on the day when it came out from my mum it turn to hurt my entire journey in the form of an emotional crisis. The unwanted seed was growing in me which is continuously growing today regardless of what environment I am living. The only thing that I use to based on when it comes to writing a life story was from the elementary up to the primary school days, but still my emotion use to click in my brain that there is still an hidden part of the history from the conception up to elementary. I’ve tried my best to approach mum just to ask if she can little bit dig up the roots of my entire emotional crisis, but I didn’t. Although she was my mum whom I could approach without any hesitation, I felt like I can not even unlock my lips for the conversation. As I was growing in age the emotional crisis was also growing consecutively at an alarming rate. 

Everyday when I want to close my eyes to get rest, the thought of I am not part of the family always click in my mind which always follows by an emotional crisis (I feel the spirit of death always control all parts of my body that I can not even speak to anybody, all I have in my brain was the feeling of not part of the family or just even pray to God that He would take my life as soon as possible). I went as far as High school without discovering why I felt that way until on that day on  the 30th September of 2016 the light shine out the darkest part of life which nobody even ever told me. There is a root cause of my emotional struggles which will be trace back to the days in the womb. Anyway read on to know the real person standing at the back of me to push me this far.

I was born in the day in the village as the Bougainville civil war has coming to an end. The difficulties between the PNG National Government  and the ABG had led to civilians ended up making some decisions which affect the way of their living. Though it is painful, the action had to be taken because the life was like in the brick wall where many options had to be taken in order to cut down the load of the hardworking. Anyway going down, when I was in the womb, my mum and dad had decided to get rid of me through the abortion, because there was no service coming from the Government of PNG at that time. There was a great blockage of all the services which the Government of PNG put in place. It was like everyone in the Island were started to invent many things. As if it was a part of lifestyle mum tried many a times to abort me with a bush medicine and even went to the doctor with my dad and signed the agreement for me to kick the bucket in the womb. They didn’t have any expectation for me to be born, for they knew I was removed any how with any of those medicines. After nine months out from the unexpected heart I was born. 

They were just surprised when mum was in need of immediate medical approach. After a few minutes of unrest, I was welcomed to the beauty of this entire home of tears and pain.

But it didn’t end the whole story, there was another barrier waiting for me while the stages in life was continuing. The hope that I would be free was shaking again. When I was at the age of 3 years once again I ended up at the hospital with my mum and dad on left to right. I had a pneumonia with diarrhoea which was like a seasonal disease because it affected all of who were born on that same date. All my cousin sisters who were in that range of between 2 to 3 years were passed away because the standard of the hospitals were also very low. There at the back of the benches in the hospitals, I was the only one to survive that storm. While growing up, my parents noticed me as a normal as the other kids which at 2005 they enrolled me to Elementary to do my prefatory at the age of unknown. In the afternoon our teacher sent us back home to ask our parents about our date of birth and the given names. Those requirements you would be expecting to fill for the first day at the school. Next day I came with a Peter as my given name and Pistoi as my Sur name which took me almost three years without any changed. Then it is on that day in 2007 I changed everything and used MACHNISSIE as my given name and LOWIE as my surname, but there was a spelling error in my surname which took me another years till 2013 I correct my surname as LOVIE. Another problem again, they misspelled my given name and submitted to Waigani with a mistake. This time they removed H and E and spelled it as MACNISSI instead of MACHNISSIE. Since it came with a mistake on the certificate I am just continuously writing it as it is. From the passage of general background, below is a summative highlighting some of the facts about me.

Macnissi Ganah is my given name and Lovie as my surname. I’m from Bougainville the Southern part of it  known as Nagovis District. I come from a family of nine kids with a total of eleven members including my parents. I am the fifth one. I was born not in any hospital but just in a village, due to the blockage of service during the civil war. My weight is 63KG and height is 157cm. For mother tongue I know two languages that is Sibe my own language and Kieta language that's from the central part of Bougainville and the third one I can only hear and understand it but cannot speak it is, Siwai language from the Southern part  of it. Apart from the mother tongue I know Tok Pidgin and English.Currently I am not living with my parents, I used to lived in the church ground and look after the church.  Since the day God called me for His Mission I left my parents spend most of the time outside as missionary and evangelizing to the young youths.